How to Set Realistic Goals for Body Image Recovery: Embracing Progress Over Perfection
Setting Realistic Goals to Heal Your Body Image
If you're struggling with body image, you may feel as though you're constantly at war with yourself.
The pressure to meet unattainable beauty standards can feel overwhelming, leaving you frustrated, dissatisfied, and unsure of how to feel better about your body. Perhaps you've tried to change how you look but still feel stuck, or maybe you’re constantly battling negative thoughts about your body, unable to break free from the cycle of comparison and self-criticism. The good news is, you don’t have to do this alone, and there are realistic (and sustainable) steps you can take to begin the healing process.
As a body image therapist, I work with many individuals who feel trapped by their body image struggles. They often don’t recognize the importance of therapy for body image issues until they start exploring what’s at the root of their dissatisfaction. The truth is, body image recovery isn’t about achieving a "perfect" body—it’s about learning to accept the body you already have, flaws and all and it’s about being able to live your life regardless of the size of your body. Setting realistic goals for your body image recovery is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
Why Perfectionism is a Barrier to Healing your Body Image
In our society, it’s common to feel like you must meet a certain standard to feel worthy of self-love and acceptance. Whether it’s having a "perfect" body, fitting into certain clothes, or looking a specific way, the pressure is everywhere. But the idea that you have to meet an idealized version of yourself to feel "good enough" is not only harmful but ultimately counterproductive.
Perfectionism, when it comes to body image, often leads to feelings of constant disappointment and frustration. The truth is, no matter how much you strive for perfection, you will never achieve a sustainable sense of happiness or confidence from just changing your appearance. Setting unrealistic body image goals is exhausting and can trap you in a cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk. Perfectionism will often lead to you fueling any type of behavior that you are using to “fix” yourself in a way that’s very negative and, quite frankly, incredibly mean to yourself.
The key to body image recovery lies in shifting your mindset from focusing on perfection to embracing progress. Recovery is not about achieving a perfect body; it's about learning to feel comfortable in your own skin. This process starts with setting realistic body image goals that focus on acceptance and growth, not just appearance.
How to Set Realistic Goals for Body Image Recovery
When it comes to setting realistic goals for body image recovery, it’s important to approach the process with self-compassion and patience. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, and you’ll need to take it step by step, adjusting your goals as you grow. Here are key principles to help guide you toward healthier, more sustainable goals:
1. Focus on What Your Body Can Do, Not Just How It Looks
One of the first and most empowering steps in body image recovery is shifting your focus from appearance to body functionality. Instead of measuring your self-worth based on how your body looks, focus on what it can do. How does your body make you feel? What does it enable you to accomplish? By appreciating your body for its strength, resilience, and capabilities, you begin to form a more balanced and loving (or at least a more kind) relationship with it.
For example, you might set a goal like:
"I will focus on how my body feels after exercise, not just on its appearance." Or “I appreciate that my body enables me to dance.”
By focusing on body functionality, you can develop a healthier, more positive perspective on your body over time.
2. Work on Body Neutrality
While body positivity encourages us to love our bodies, body neutrality takes a different approach—one that focuses on accepting the body without needing to add any judgment about its appearance. It’s about acknowledging your body as it is, without labeling it as "good" or "bad," "beautiful" or "ugly." Instead of trying to love every part of your body, body neutrality asks you to remove judgment altogether and simply exist in your body with neutrality.
A key part of body neutrality is shifting the language you use when describing your body. Often, we use subjective descriptors like "fat," "ugly," or "flawed" to judge ourselves. These words carry emotional weight and can negatively impact our self-esteem. Body neutrality, however, encourages the use of objective descriptors that are simply factual and free from value judgments. For example, instead of saying, "I feel disgusting because of my stomach," try describing the body in neutral terms: “I notice my stomach feels fuller after eating” or "My stomach is doing its job by digesting food so that my body can be nourished properly.”
These objective descriptors don't attach judgment or emotional baggage—they just state facts without offering any opinion or self-criticism. This shift in language helps you detach from the idea that your body needs to meet a certain standard of beauty to be accepted. Instead, it helps you focus on your body as it is—without the added pressure to love it or criticize it.
For example, a goal in practicing body neutrality might be:
"I will describe my body using neutral language. Instead of saying, ‘I hate my legs,’ I will say, ‘My legs are long and strong.’”
Body neutrality is about releasing attachment to appearance-based values, allowing you to see your body for what it is without getting caught up in subjective interpretations. This doesn’t mean you’ll instantly feel fully accepting of your body, but it creates space for a more compassionate, neutral perspective. Learn more about how to begin feeling comfortable in your own skin here.
3. Recognize That What You’re Doing Isn’t Working
If you're stuck in a pattern of self-criticism and self-hatred, it’s important to recognize that this approach isn’t helping you get closer to any of your goals. In fact, it’s likely keeping you trapped in a cycle of negative self-talk and perfectionism, which only worsens body image struggles.
How much more can we achieve when we are our own cheerleader instead of a mean coach? Shifting from self-hatred to self-compassion can be a game-changer. When you approach recovery from a place of respect and kindness, rather than shame or frustration, you open yourself up to lasting change. Recovery comes from nurturing, not from punishment.
For instance, you might ask yourself: “How would I treat a friend who was struggling with body image?” More often than not, the answer is with kindness, encouragement, and support—not criticism. Why not offer the same treatment to yourself?
Try a goal like:
"I will practice being my own cheerleader by acknowledging my wins and treating myself with kindness every step of the way."
By shifting your internal dialogue, you give yourself permission to heal in a sustainable, compassionate way.
4. Start Small and Celebrate Every Victory
Instead of trying to overhaul everything at once, set small, achievable goals that are realistic and sustainable. Trying to make huge changes too quickly can set you up for disappointment and overwhelm. Instead, set small goals that you can build on over time.
For example, try setting goals like:
“I will practice positive affirmations in the mirror each morning.”
“I will wear clothes that make me feel comfortable and confident, not based on size or trend.”
“I will acknowledge one positive thing about my body each day.”
Celebrate each small win as it comes. Even minor progress is still progress!
5. Embrace Self-Compassion and Be Patient with Yourself
Body image recovery doesn’t happen overnight. Self-compassion is crucial for setting realistic goals because it helps you navigate the ups and downs of your recovery journey with patience and understanding. It’s important to remember that recovery isn’t linear—there will be good days and bad days.
When you set a goal, approach it with kindness, not harsh judgment. Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go according to plan. Practice self-compassion and allow yourself to make mistakes without guilt. Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
You might set a goal like:
"When I feel critical about my body, I will take a deep breath and remind myself that recovery takes time and I am doing the best I can."
Working on building a more positive self-image is also powerful for healing!
6. Seek Support: Therapy Can Help You Set Healthy Goals
As you embark on your body image recovery journey, therapy can provide invaluable support. A body image therapist helps you navigate your recovery by guiding you through setting realistic, personalized goals. Therapy also gives you the tools to reframe negative thought patterns, challenge self-critical beliefs, and build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with your body.
Therapists can help you explore the emotional and mental factors influencing your body image and can assist you in breaking free from perfectionism, self-criticism, and negative body image habits. Therapy helps you create realistic, long-term goals that focus on healing and acceptance.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Body image recovery is a journey, and it’s important to remember that progress is the goal, not perfection. Realistic goals that focus on self-compassion, small steps, and a neutral view of your body are key to healing. Healing isn’t about achieving a “perfect” body—it’s about learning to accept, appreciate, and care for the body you have.
If you’re struggling with body image issues and would like support in setting realistic, achievable goals, therapy can be a transformative tool in your recovery process. Contact me today to learn more about how therapy can help you heal your body image and begin living a more fulfilled, self-compassionate life.
A Self-Driven Option for Additional Support
If you're not ready to seek therapy just yet, or if you’re already in therapy and want to supplement your healing journey, my "Finally Body Confident" course can be a great next step. This self-paced course is designed to help you build lasting body confidence through practical tools, exercises, and strategies that promote self-compassion, body neutrality, and realistic goal-setting. It's an excellent resource for anyone looking to create a positive relationship with their body—on their own terms.
In our next post, we’ll dive deeper into what body image struggles actually look like and how they impact your life. From constant self-criticism to avoiding social situations, we’ll explore the signs and how to recognize if your body image is affecting your day-to-day well-being. Stay tuned to learn how body image struggles aren’t “normal” and why seeking support is key to lasting recovery.
*Disclaimer* - I am not a medical doctor and this post does not constitute as medical advice. This post is derived from my experience working with clients who struggle with Anorexia, research and collaborating with medical professionals.